I've been debating to share this with you all for some time now. It's one of my guilty pleasures and, well...fuck it I like him!! I was trying to resist even listening to him for a while, given his background and all. Ultimately, I succumbed to his advances and now, here we are. I am a fan of Donald Glover, AKA Childish Gambino.
Yes! Donald Glover! The black guy from the TV show, "Community." That guy. He's also a rapper. And he sounds better than half these fuck-asses polluting the scene right now. I didn't wanna give him any attention before because I thought he was just like any other actor trying to get put on but really sucks. Then I heard Freaks and Geeks. I wanted to hear more from his "Culdesac" EP.Then I heard he did a sample of Adele and that linked me to Do Ya Like. I was HOOKED!! Unfortunately most of his music is so covert and underground that calling it a series of mixtapes is actually overshooting. He does tour with other underground acts, including the occasional accompaniment from ?uestlove and other celebrity friends. Finding his music anywhere other than the internet is damn near impossible.
His next release,"Camp" is slated to be released in November. If it's anything like Be Alone or Not Going Back then I'm sure I won't be disappointed. He is definetly talented and is a jack of all trades. He is also a DJ, and still does his stand up. This guy stays hungry. I appreciate his drive and hopes he can achieve success in music as he has in TV.
If you're still not sold, and you are still on the fence, let me leave you with a little remix that he's on: Rolling in the Deep (Remix). Now if that doesn't sell you then I don't know what to tell ya!! Either way, screw you! I'm a fan!!
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
For Airwaves From Air Guitars: Jessie J
I'm going to interrupt my breakdown of "The Fundamentals" for a second to shed some light on a new artist whose star got a little extra glitter sprinkled on it a week ago. Her name is Jessie J and you need to know her before the masses gobble her alive.
Jessie J gave us a hellified show in the MTV Awards. It had the usual suspects doing their usual, mainstream shit, but the chick singing out to the commercial breaks seemed to catch everyone's attention. My timeline on Twitter was on fire with tweets about "that white girl sanging like hell." Well Jessica Cornish, AKA Jessie J is another British soul singer who has graced us with her talents. She's also a young' un (she's 23) with a voice and talent beyond her years. She wrote songs for other artists before, like Chris Brown, and Miley Cyrus' "Party in the USA." She has definitely established herself as a songwriter in the industry and now has her own album out titled, "Who You Are."
Oddly enough, you've probably already heard of her and didn't even know it. Her song, Price Tag with B.o.B. has been used in commercials and burning its way through the radio. It's a catchy little tune, but her best work lies within the rest of the album. her song, Nobody's Perfect shows off her vocal ability and proves she's got the chops. in a couple of tracks she seems to channel the late Teena Marie, especially in her song, Casualty of Love. The girl is a beast, ain't she?!!! I must say, though, her title track to her debut album,
Who You Are is one of my faves. Definitely a positive song for anyone going through a tough time. Good job on your first try out, Jessie.
Seems like the blue-eyed chicks are taking over the scene! From Adele, Amy (RIP), Joss, Natasha Bedingfield, and Duffy they are definitely giving the Pop/R&B scene a new look...and I'm a fan. I strongly urge all of you to support GOOD music and phenomenal songwriters. Too much trash is infiltrating our ears and clogging up time that could be used for introducing folks to people with ACTUAL talent. Don't fall prey to wackness...be a rebel and demand good music be in your life at all times.
Jessie J gave us a hellified show in the MTV Awards. It had the usual suspects doing their usual, mainstream shit, but the chick singing out to the commercial breaks seemed to catch everyone's attention. My timeline on Twitter was on fire with tweets about "that white girl sanging like hell." Well Jessica Cornish, AKA Jessie J is another British soul singer who has graced us with her talents. She's also a young' un (she's 23) with a voice and talent beyond her years. She wrote songs for other artists before, like Chris Brown, and Miley Cyrus' "Party in the USA." She has definitely established herself as a songwriter in the industry and now has her own album out titled, "Who You Are."
Oddly enough, you've probably already heard of her and didn't even know it. Her song, Price Tag with B.o.B. has been used in commercials and burning its way through the radio. It's a catchy little tune, but her best work lies within the rest of the album. her song, Nobody's Perfect shows off her vocal ability and proves she's got the chops. in a couple of tracks she seems to channel the late Teena Marie, especially in her song, Casualty of Love. The girl is a beast, ain't she?!!! I must say, though, her title track to her debut album,
Who You Are is one of my faves. Definitely a positive song for anyone going through a tough time. Good job on your first try out, Jessie.
Seems like the blue-eyed chicks are taking over the scene! From Adele, Amy (RIP), Joss, Natasha Bedingfield, and Duffy they are definitely giving the Pop/R&B scene a new look...and I'm a fan. I strongly urge all of you to support GOOD music and phenomenal songwriters. Too much trash is infiltrating our ears and clogging up time that could be used for introducing folks to people with ACTUAL talent. Don't fall prey to wackness...be a rebel and demand good music be in your life at all times.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
What You Got On It?
Money has been known to be the root of all evil. Some think the more you have, the more problems you gain. Others feel it can buy love and supreme happiness. Well, whatever your views on it are, the fact still remains it is one critical aspect in choosing a life partner. Now to save face, some people may say that they are not with someone for the money, that love is all that matters. To that, I simply say, "Bullshit!!" Money, whether we want to believe it or not, is one of the driving forces in a relationship. Think about it. Money makes an appearance before the first date. If your date has none, then you two are meeting at a free place (park, party, etc.) Now, depending on how much your date has, he/she will suggest something that shows they have some loot, but not too extravagant since they really don't know you. It's the first impression someone gives you without really wanting or trying to give it. For this reason (and a few others) Financial stability is considered a Fundamental.
#3 Financial Stability
Let me just begin by saying that I am in no means a gold-digger or an opportunist. This need to have money on a list of requirements for potential suitors is solely based on my own personal experiences and horror stories that others have shared with me. Finances do come to the forefront of relationships far more often than we will admit. It has been one of the main causes for marital demise and breakups. To say it doesn't matter would just be lying, or maybe a half-truth. I'm not saying that a man has to be making it rain at Chuck-E-Cheese for me and my son. Hell, I'm not even saying that we have to go to 5 star restaurants on every outing. All I'm saying is that if you have some, awesome. If you don't, do you at least have a plan to make some...LEGIT? If you don't have as much as you'd like, are you ambitious enough to never settle or stand for complacency? A man who is content with his status and lacks ambition is either dead or an idiot...and I fucks with neither.
Females...a word to the wise (or the stubborn): Get off the independent woman bullshit!!! It's not attractive. It's not a turn-on. All that attitude is saying that you have NO need for a man-in any capacity. With that kinda energy being put into the world, is it any wonder why you're single? Don't get me wrong, being able to stand on your own two feet is commendable. As a single mother myself I understand the struggle and am thankful for what I have accomplished. However, I don't wanna do this shit all my life!!! I don't wanna have to work this hard til they put me in the ground! I wanna have the OPTION to work. I wanna CHOOSE whether or not I wanna be a stay-at-home mother. I don't want to have to keep struggling on my own and I damn sure don't want to do it with someone who can't help me out. He doesn't need to be making six or seven figures, just be able to provide for yourself first. If a man can provide for himself, he feels better about himself. If he can provide for his lady, he feels needed. If he can provide for his family, he feels like a man.
Now I'm a big stickler for tradition. I do believe that a man should be the "top earner" in the relationship. I've always had the idea of "a man should have it; I should be able to put somethin ON it." Meaning that I would love to be provided for, but also earn my keep. Let's face it, the "independent woman" attitude doesn't really work out that well. Older generations don't have that attitude, and look how long their marriages last. Sometimes traditions should be adhered to and for me, this is one of them. Just remember that when it comes to relationships, women need to feel wanted while men need to feel needed. If a woman doesn't feel wanted, she gets insecure. If a man doesn't feel needed, he searches for someone who does need him. It's no surprise why this is always a topic of conversation and causes such an uproar. Money does show you exactly who you are dealing with and how fickle their intentions.
Nothing turns me on more than a man with ambition. A man with goals is a man going places. If a man is also doing walking with his talking it makes him a total man of action. No matter where you fall in tax brackets, one thing has to be for certain...your willingness to strive for more. If you are a fry cook, have goals and plan in effect so that in 6 months you are at least a shift supervisor. If you are in an entry-level position, have wheels in motion that put you as a team leader by next year. A woman will admire your drive a lot more than your wallet any day. I can get behind any idea if it's followed by a logical course of action. For these reasons, finances are included in the foundation for a great relationship...a fundamental.
#3 Financial Stability
Let me just begin by saying that I am in no means a gold-digger or an opportunist. This need to have money on a list of requirements for potential suitors is solely based on my own personal experiences and horror stories that others have shared with me. Finances do come to the forefront of relationships far more often than we will admit. It has been one of the main causes for marital demise and breakups. To say it doesn't matter would just be lying, or maybe a half-truth. I'm not saying that a man has to be making it rain at Chuck-E-Cheese for me and my son. Hell, I'm not even saying that we have to go to 5 star restaurants on every outing. All I'm saying is that if you have some, awesome. If you don't, do you at least have a plan to make some...LEGIT? If you don't have as much as you'd like, are you ambitious enough to never settle or stand for complacency? A man who is content with his status and lacks ambition is either dead or an idiot...and I fucks with neither.
Females...a word to the wise (or the stubborn): Get off the independent woman bullshit!!! It's not attractive. It's not a turn-on. All that attitude is saying that you have NO need for a man-in any capacity. With that kinda energy being put into the world, is it any wonder why you're single? Don't get me wrong, being able to stand on your own two feet is commendable. As a single mother myself I understand the struggle and am thankful for what I have accomplished. However, I don't wanna do this shit all my life!!! I don't wanna have to work this hard til they put me in the ground! I wanna have the OPTION to work. I wanna CHOOSE whether or not I wanna be a stay-at-home mother. I don't want to have to keep struggling on my own and I damn sure don't want to do it with someone who can't help me out. He doesn't need to be making six or seven figures, just be able to provide for yourself first. If a man can provide for himself, he feels better about himself. If he can provide for his lady, he feels needed. If he can provide for his family, he feels like a man.
Now I'm a big stickler for tradition. I do believe that a man should be the "top earner" in the relationship. I've always had the idea of "a man should have it; I should be able to put somethin ON it." Meaning that I would love to be provided for, but also earn my keep. Let's face it, the "independent woman" attitude doesn't really work out that well. Older generations don't have that attitude, and look how long their marriages last. Sometimes traditions should be adhered to and for me, this is one of them. Just remember that when it comes to relationships, women need to feel wanted while men need to feel needed. If a woman doesn't feel wanted, she gets insecure. If a man doesn't feel needed, he searches for someone who does need him. It's no surprise why this is always a topic of conversation and causes such an uproar. Money does show you exactly who you are dealing with and how fickle their intentions.
Nothing turns me on more than a man with ambition. A man with goals is a man going places. If a man is also doing walking with his talking it makes him a total man of action. No matter where you fall in tax brackets, one thing has to be for certain...your willingness to strive for more. If you are a fry cook, have goals and plan in effect so that in 6 months you are at least a shift supervisor. If you are in an entry-level position, have wheels in motion that put you as a team leader by next year. A woman will admire your drive a lot more than your wallet any day. I can get behind any idea if it's followed by a logical course of action. For these reasons, finances are included in the foundation for a great relationship...a fundamental.
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Fundamentals: Emotional Stability
Emotional stability is very critical in choosing a partner, yet it's often the most overlooked. We often dismiss social outbursts and long stints of the silent treatment as early warning signs and earmarks of a person we may need to back away from-and fast! As women we are more quick to excuse certain behaviors, citing some underlying trauma from their childhood or residual scars from past relationships. We try to heal these old wounds with the hopes that they will see how patient we are and reward us with their undying affection. On the other side of the spectrum, men will sweep a woman's attitude under the rug if she is extremely attractive or if she has the ability to make his toes curl in fits of passion. Neither logic from either side is the correct approach for salvaging a potentially emotionally toxic relationship. They act as Band-Aids, covering up a festering wound that will eventually infect every aspect of your dealings with one another. The best way to see if the two of you are emotionally compatible is to pay attention to red flags early in the relationship.
#2 Emotional Stability
Ladies, have you ever been dating a guy and he seems like a great match? He's smart, loves children, has a great job, and well, just the works!!! But there's that something you just can't put your finger on. It may be how he speaks to you in a condescending tone when explaining something to you. Maybe it's the way he gets a little TOO angry at the slightest errors and incidents? Or the fact that he just doesn't take ANYTHING seriously at all? Little tidbits like these we overlook early on because we chalk it up to the fact that we are, "just getting to know one another." There's that saying that if someone shows you who they are, believe them. So is the case when someones behavior is not to your liking. Don't think that just because you're you that he will see the error of his ways and become the man you want him to be. It is often possible that many a female has walked that same path and despite her efforts, he still remains the same. Nobody has broke down that wall of defenses and chances are you will be just as unsuccessful.Trying to change anyone is a lost cause, especially a grown person. Save the headache for someone else to deal with, preferably someone with a degree to handle such issues.
Men...chicks are just irrational and hard to comprehend...period. Don't try to get a clear view on it, for we don't even have one. A man's view on a woman's emotional state is a little harder than the task we as women face. Chances are that girl that is always putting herself down or crying incessantly has issues that run deeper than your innate male expertise. A woman's emotional makeup can range from Daddy issues, bad past relationships, lack of self-worth/respect, or even the need to be completely independent. Men try to just steer clear of anything that'll trigger any of these old wounds. In return, they walk on eggshells and spend the entire relationship in fear that they will say or do the wrong thing. Your best bet is seeking a woman who realizes her hangups and doesn't lay them on you. A mature woman will not use you as a replacement for the source of her issues. Instead, she will ask for honesty in hopes to help find a way to fix the flaws herself (with beautiful words of encouragement from you, of course). A man should never feel like he's walking through a mine field in pitch-black darkness when he walks into the room. It just adds more stress than is needed in a relationship.
Bottom line, we cannot fix each other. We can't nag, criticize, joke, or screw the problems away. We should look at our mates and see parts of ourselves we need to work on or show off a bit more. Relationships are made to bring out the best in one another. They help us to be better people, for we have someone who gives us a reason to be better. If a relationship brings out the worst in you, it's just not for you. Perhaps taking a moment to fall back and reexamine your life and how your partner fits in it is necessary. If we are not emotionally stable in our romantic life, all other interactions with the outside world will soon fall casualty to our problems. Your mate should be your rock, a sounding board, your biggest cheerleader. Nothing less than that should be allowed, and we shouldn't settle.
#2 Emotional Stability
Ladies, have you ever been dating a guy and he seems like a great match? He's smart, loves children, has a great job, and well, just the works!!! But there's that something you just can't put your finger on. It may be how he speaks to you in a condescending tone when explaining something to you. Maybe it's the way he gets a little TOO angry at the slightest errors and incidents? Or the fact that he just doesn't take ANYTHING seriously at all? Little tidbits like these we overlook early on because we chalk it up to the fact that we are, "just getting to know one another." There's that saying that if someone shows you who they are, believe them. So is the case when someones behavior is not to your liking. Don't think that just because you're you that he will see the error of his ways and become the man you want him to be. It is often possible that many a female has walked that same path and despite her efforts, he still remains the same. Nobody has broke down that wall of defenses and chances are you will be just as unsuccessful.Trying to change anyone is a lost cause, especially a grown person. Save the headache for someone else to deal with, preferably someone with a degree to handle such issues.
Men...chicks are just irrational and hard to comprehend...period. Don't try to get a clear view on it, for we don't even have one. A man's view on a woman's emotional state is a little harder than the task we as women face. Chances are that girl that is always putting herself down or crying incessantly has issues that run deeper than your innate male expertise. A woman's emotional makeup can range from Daddy issues, bad past relationships, lack of self-worth/respect, or even the need to be completely independent. Men try to just steer clear of anything that'll trigger any of these old wounds. In return, they walk on eggshells and spend the entire relationship in fear that they will say or do the wrong thing. Your best bet is seeking a woman who realizes her hangups and doesn't lay them on you. A mature woman will not use you as a replacement for the source of her issues. Instead, she will ask for honesty in hopes to help find a way to fix the flaws herself (with beautiful words of encouragement from you, of course). A man should never feel like he's walking through a mine field in pitch-black darkness when he walks into the room. It just adds more stress than is needed in a relationship.
Bottom line, we cannot fix each other. We can't nag, criticize, joke, or screw the problems away. We should look at our mates and see parts of ourselves we need to work on or show off a bit more. Relationships are made to bring out the best in one another. They help us to be better people, for we have someone who gives us a reason to be better. If a relationship brings out the worst in you, it's just not for you. Perhaps taking a moment to fall back and reexamine your life and how your partner fits in it is necessary. If we are not emotionally stable in our romantic life, all other interactions with the outside world will soon fall casualty to our problems. Your mate should be your rock, a sounding board, your biggest cheerleader. Nothing less than that should be allowed, and we shouldn't settle.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Fundamentals
I wanna start off by welcoming everyone to my blog. Seems like everybody is putting their ideas out in the world, but it's time we get another view on some things. I will forewarn everyone that my views are not always going to appease the masses. If I offend or make some people uncomfortable, well...screw it . I was gonna apologize but decided against it. Sometimes things need to be said.
Fundamentals
I know I have come a long way since my younger days. In my youth (and in some of my 20's) I must admit my judgement in suitors may have been a little short-sighted. Now, as time has crept up on me and shook me into the harsh reality of my thirties my requirements have definitely shifted. One thing that we as women let slip to the wayside is the basics of a relationship...the fundamentals. Some chicks are lured away by the shiny and flashy, while others focus on the potential and nurturing of a mate. As a gender we are just natural comforters, which makes the action of falling for someone who needs "rebuilding" almost inevitable. We need to err on the side of caution, ladies. Please remember these fundamentals and use them as foundation on which all relationships are built from. With these fundamentals in place, all residual ideals will come together accordingly.
#1: Communication
Yeah, it's a no-brainer. It's pivotal to any working relationship; but I've seen it taken for granted in a lot of instances. Telling your partner what bothers you, when it bothers you, and how it bothers you is the only way to make sure the two of you can understand each other. Often times as women we let shit slide, only to bring it up later in a fight or after we let it stew for a while. If your mate is doing something that you have a problem tolerating, say something! If you dismiss it, they will think that it is OK and continue doing it. One of the main arguments I hear from my male friends is that females get upset over something they've done, only to find out it's bothered them forever.
Now there's a fine line between expressing your opinions and downright nagging. Pick your battles. Don't harp on how they chew their food or how you hate their laugh. Let them know about the REAL shit that bothers you. If they are speaking to you in a way you find offends you, or their views on certain issues need further explanation, elaborate on that. Don't think you can change someone, but bringing certain thing to light can sometimes make someone try to reel it in or curb the actions that you have taken issue with. Always let your mate, and even other people, in your life know exactly where they stand with you. The clearer the lines, the better. Try to leave no room for misunderstanding, and the communication lines wide open.
Women sometimes also remain silent for the fear that if they speak their mind, the man will get angry or not like them anymore. This by far is the stupidest thing I've ever heard. The idea of being alone is so horrible that it trumps telling the person they're with some very important information. Put it this way: Can you actually stand being in a relationship with someone when you are not being 100% yourself? What kind of way is that to live? No one should ever have to feel the need to mute themselves just for the sake of being with somebody. It is the breeding ground for resentment for you and distrust from your mate. If you cannot be yourself, then it's not worth doing. That's something to apply in life as well. The person who you choose as a life mate should love you from the crust in your eyes to the lint in your toes...nothing less. As people we should never compromise on that, for we are worthy of such love. Communication allows someone to view you as you are, not how you are presenting yourself. It breaks down the walls of bullshit and baggage that we have put up and opens up the door for an opportunity to be happy...and to be ourselves.
Fundamentals
I know I have come a long way since my younger days. In my youth (and in some of my 20's) I must admit my judgement in suitors may have been a little short-sighted. Now, as time has crept up on me and shook me into the harsh reality of my thirties my requirements have definitely shifted. One thing that we as women let slip to the wayside is the basics of a relationship...the fundamentals. Some chicks are lured away by the shiny and flashy, while others focus on the potential and nurturing of a mate. As a gender we are just natural comforters, which makes the action of falling for someone who needs "rebuilding" almost inevitable. We need to err on the side of caution, ladies. Please remember these fundamentals and use them as foundation on which all relationships are built from. With these fundamentals in place, all residual ideals will come together accordingly.
#1: Communication
Yeah, it's a no-brainer. It's pivotal to any working relationship; but I've seen it taken for granted in a lot of instances. Telling your partner what bothers you, when it bothers you, and how it bothers you is the only way to make sure the two of you can understand each other. Often times as women we let shit slide, only to bring it up later in a fight or after we let it stew for a while. If your mate is doing something that you have a problem tolerating, say something! If you dismiss it, they will think that it is OK and continue doing it. One of the main arguments I hear from my male friends is that females get upset over something they've done, only to find out it's bothered them forever.
Now there's a fine line between expressing your opinions and downright nagging. Pick your battles. Don't harp on how they chew their food or how you hate their laugh. Let them know about the REAL shit that bothers you. If they are speaking to you in a way you find offends you, or their views on certain issues need further explanation, elaborate on that. Don't think you can change someone, but bringing certain thing to light can sometimes make someone try to reel it in or curb the actions that you have taken issue with. Always let your mate, and even other people, in your life know exactly where they stand with you. The clearer the lines, the better. Try to leave no room for misunderstanding, and the communication lines wide open.
Women sometimes also remain silent for the fear that if they speak their mind, the man will get angry or not like them anymore. This by far is the stupidest thing I've ever heard. The idea of being alone is so horrible that it trumps telling the person they're with some very important information. Put it this way: Can you actually stand being in a relationship with someone when you are not being 100% yourself? What kind of way is that to live? No one should ever have to feel the need to mute themselves just for the sake of being with somebody. It is the breeding ground for resentment for you and distrust from your mate. If you cannot be yourself, then it's not worth doing. That's something to apply in life as well. The person who you choose as a life mate should love you from the crust in your eyes to the lint in your toes...nothing less. As people we should never compromise on that, for we are worthy of such love. Communication allows someone to view you as you are, not how you are presenting yourself. It breaks down the walls of bullshit and baggage that we have put up and opens up the door for an opportunity to be happy...and to be ourselves.
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