Emotional stability is very critical in choosing a partner, yet it's often the most overlooked. We often dismiss social outbursts and long stints of the silent treatment as early warning signs and earmarks of a person we may need to back away from-and fast! As women we are more quick to excuse certain behaviors, citing some underlying trauma from their childhood or residual scars from past relationships. We try to heal these old wounds with the hopes that they will see how patient we are and reward us with their undying affection. On the other side of the spectrum, men will sweep a woman's attitude under the rug if she is extremely attractive or if she has the ability to make his toes curl in fits of passion. Neither logic from either side is the correct approach for salvaging a potentially emotionally toxic relationship. They act as Band-Aids, covering up a festering wound that will eventually infect every aspect of your dealings with one another. The best way to see if the two of you are emotionally compatible is to pay attention to red flags early in the relationship.
#2 Emotional Stability
Ladies, have you ever been dating a guy and he seems like a great match? He's smart, loves children, has a great job, and well, just the works!!! But there's that something you just can't put your finger on. It may be how he speaks to you in a condescending tone when explaining something to you. Maybe it's the way he gets a little TOO angry at the slightest errors and incidents? Or the fact that he just doesn't take ANYTHING seriously at all? Little tidbits like these we overlook early on because we chalk it up to the fact that we are, "just getting to know one another." There's that saying that if someone shows you who they are, believe them. So is the case when someones behavior is not to your liking. Don't think that just because you're you that he will see the error of his ways and become the man you want him to be. It is often possible that many a female has walked that same path and despite her efforts, he still remains the same. Nobody has broke down that wall of defenses and chances are you will be just as unsuccessful.Trying to change anyone is a lost cause, especially a grown person. Save the headache for someone else to deal with, preferably someone with a degree to handle such issues.
Men...chicks are just irrational and hard to comprehend...period. Don't try to get a clear view on it, for we don't even have one. A man's view on a woman's emotional state is a little harder than the task we as women face. Chances are that girl that is always putting herself down or crying incessantly has issues that run deeper than your innate male expertise. A woman's emotional makeup can range from Daddy issues, bad past relationships, lack of self-worth/respect, or even the need to be completely independent. Men try to just steer clear of anything that'll trigger any of these old wounds. In return, they walk on eggshells and spend the entire relationship in fear that they will say or do the wrong thing. Your best bet is seeking a woman who realizes her hangups and doesn't lay them on you. A mature woman will not use you as a replacement for the source of her issues. Instead, she will ask for honesty in hopes to help find a way to fix the flaws herself (with beautiful words of encouragement from you, of course). A man should never feel like he's walking through a mine field in pitch-black darkness when he walks into the room. It just adds more stress than is needed in a relationship.
Bottom line, we cannot fix each other. We can't nag, criticize, joke, or screw the problems away. We should look at our mates and see parts of ourselves we need to work on or show off a bit more. Relationships are made to bring out the best in one another. They help us to be better people, for we have someone who gives us a reason to be better. If a relationship brings out the worst in you, it's just not for you. Perhaps taking a moment to fall back and reexamine your life and how your partner fits in it is necessary. If we are not emotionally stable in our romantic life, all other interactions with the outside world will soon fall casualty to our problems. Your mate should be your rock, a sounding board, your biggest cheerleader. Nothing less than that should be allowed, and we shouldn't settle.
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